There’s lots of bad poetry on the web and I want to help it proliferate… sort of. To assist you in becoming a productive contributor of garbage, here’s a list of the ten worst topics you could write a poem about. Maybe you can insult my intelligence with your creations.
(And by the way, please welcome our friends who will be visiting us from The World’s Top 10 of Anything and Everything. This will be doubling as a guest post over there.)
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
10: Phlegm
The winds, they wage a wheezing war
Which we can hardly stem.
The lungs, they lunge like lion’s leap
To loosen up the phlegm.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
9: An orange
You can’t rhyme it and you can’t complain about the lack of rhymes. That would be too predictable.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
8: The NSA
Every breath I take
And every move I make
Every bond I break
Every step I take
You’ll be watching me.
(Photo credit: Gene Wilburn)
7: Algebra
If 2x plus 4 over 7 is 3,
Then 20 plus 4x times 13 beats me.
(Photo credit: diluvienne)
6. The city of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Llanfair
pwllgwyngyll
gogerychwyrnd
robwllllantysilio
gogogoch!
Sweet town of
Llanfair
pwllgwyngyll
gogerychwyrnd
robwllllantysilio
gogogoch!
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
5: A spatula
Be honest. A poem about spatulas would make people flip.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
4: Mothballs
My love, these mothballs I do take
And put them on my spoon.
And if my love you do forsake
I might die sometime soon.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
3: Wrestlemania
Because every poetry collection should mention oversized men in their underwear pretending to wrestle…
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
2: Testicular Cancer
Scrotum, scrotum burning bright
In the middle of the night
What infernal cancer now
Disrupts thy fearful symmetry?
(Photo credit: Octavio Rojas)
1: Wikipedia:
Hey bub!
This poem
is only
a stub.
Bumblepuppies 
How’s this one…
http://sloword.wordpress.com/2013/01/28/nasal-blues/
hehehe. nice.
I could be picky and tell you that a song doesn’t count as a poem… but I used a Police song in this post so I guess I can’t.
hahahahahahahahahaha What about
She stood on the bridge at midnight
Her lips were all a quiver
She gave a cough
Her leg fell off
And floated down the river
hahaha
very nice.
There’s more bad poetry on the blog. It’s so bad it’s not even called poetry, but Pomes.
I actually do something similar, but I call mine “Questionable Poetry.” Like yours, it has its own category link.
how rude
Where on earth is Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch? And how on earth do you pronounce it?
It’s in Wales, and it isn’t even the longest place name in the world. That title belongs to my fair land of New Zealand and it’s
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu and that I can pronounce lol
It’s Toe ma ta fucka tonguee hunga cor oh woe aa ta ma tia po (like your saying pork) kie fenooa kitee unna taa hoe But that Welsh one …..pthb pass, that’s impossible lol
I wouldn’t want to type either of them into the GPS. It’ll take forever. And that’s if you can even remember how to spell it.
lol true, ahaha
it’s pronounced in the best I can “clan-vire-pogh-gwin-gil-go-ger-ick-quan-dro-bite-quanti-silly-o-go-go-go”
(how I know this? we have a thing called country days at my highschool where each class studies about a country and then decorate their room with culture stuff and random facts. my class did the UK and I was in charge of Wales)
and there’s a link to a song to teach you. 🙂
“Scrotum, scrotum burning bright
In the middle of the night
What infernal cancer now
Disrupts thy fearful symmetry?”
I’ve always hated changing classics but this is wayy better than tiger, tiger.
Thanks.
And I agree that changes are sometimes really awful. I’ve seen that poem converted to a prayer and you could tell who was familiar with the original because we were all grimacing.
To a prayer? How on earth…? Jesus. Literally.
Reblogged this on The Worlds top 10 of Anything and Everything!!! and commented:
Today is Sunday which means it is guest post day! Today’s post is from ‘bumblepuppies’ and brings us the ten worst topics you could write a poem about , so I hope you enjoy it and show it as much love as you do my own top 10′s. But if you think you can do better or interested in doing the same please drop me an E-Mail: turtle4578588@gmail.com But until then here is today’s….
I was quite taken with the one on algebra. I nearly tried to work it out. Nearly. Then I remembered. Algebraaaaaah.x
#2(literally) & #6 definitely win The Vogon Life Achievement Award.
Is there a prize?
Prize? Only a Vogon can survive a reading of Vogon poetry(Hitchhikers Guide) – it’s that bad. So the prize winners are really that bad…or that good.
I meant a cash prize…
Recently I’ve been posting stories in the Daily Prompt and always prose. Not that I think I am a brilliant writer, far from it but when I read what others have written, I find myself closing without reading when I discover it to be poetry. I just don’t want to spend the few minutes to read the submissions. I may be missing good stuff but I just can’t deal with it if it is not.
I generally do the same thing with poetry as I do for other posts. I start reading and stop when it’s clear that the post is no good. With poetry, one can quickly tell whether the author knows what they’re doing.
Love it! (=
Thanks!
Phlegm? Really? Gross! But it gets your point across for sure! Nice shock value!!!
Thanks. I figured there’s not much worse then phlegm for poetry.
I agree unless it is flatulence ba ha ha
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