There’s lots of bad poetry on the web and I want to help it proliferate… sort of. To assist you in becoming a productive contributor of garbage, here’s a list of the ten worst topics you could write a poem about. Maybe you can insult my intelligence with your creations.
(And by the way, please welcome our friends who will be visiting us from The World’s Top 10 of Anything and Everything. This will be doubling as a guest post over there.)
The winds, they wage a wheezing war
Which we can hardly stem.
The lungs, they lunge like lion’s leap
To loosen up the phlegm.
9: An orange
You can’t rhyme it and you can’t complain about the lack of rhymes. That would be too predictable.
8: The NSA
Every breath I take
And every move I make
Every bond I break
Every step I take
You’ll be watching me.
If 2x plus 4 over 7 is 3,
Then 20 plus 4x times 13 beats me.
6. The city of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Sweet town of
5: A spatula
Be honest. A poem about spatulas would make people flip.
My love, these mothballs I do take
And put them on my spoon.
And if my love you do forsake
I might die sometime soon.
Because every poetry collection should mention oversized men in their underwear pretending to wrestle…
2: Testicular Cancer
Scrotum, scrotum burning bright
In the middle of the night
What infernal cancer now
Disrupts thy fearful symmetry?