Bad Poetry Insults My Intelligence

There’s lots of bad poetry on the web and I want to help it proliferate… sort of.  To assist you in becoming a productive contributor of garbage, here’s a list of the ten worst topics you could write a poem about.  Maybe you can insult my intelligence with your creations.

(And by the way, please welcome our friends who will be visiting us from The World’s Top 10 of Anything and Everything.  This will be doubling as a guest post over there.)

Phlegm

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

10: Phlegm

The winds, they wage a wheezing war
Which we can hardly stem.
The lungs, they lunge like lion’s leap
To loosen up the phlegm.

English: Mandarin orange (Citrus reticulata)

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

9: An orange

You can’t rhyme it and you can’t complain about the lack of rhymes.  That would be too predictable.

Headquarters of the NSA at Fort Meade, Marylan...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

8: The NSA

Every breath I take
And every move I make 
Every bond I break 
Every step I take
You’ll be watching me.

Basic Algebra Review

(Photo credit: Gene Wilburn)

7: Algebra

If 2x plus 4 over 7 is 3,
Then 20 plus 4x times 13 beats me.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantys...

(Photo credit: diluvienne)

6. The city of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Llanfair
pwllgwyngyll
gogerychwyrnd
robwllllantysilio
gogogoch!

Sweet town of
Llanfair
pwllgwyngyll
gogerychwyrnd
robwllllantysilio
gogogoch!

English: A selection of kitchen spatulas

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

5: A spatula

Be honest.  A poem about spatulas would make people flip.

English: Mothballs

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

4: Mothballs

My love, these mothballs I do take
And put them on my spoon.
And if my love you do forsake
I might die sometime soon.

Triple H wins the WWE Championship Match again...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

3: Wrestlemania

Because every poetry collection should mention oversized men in their underwear pretending to wrestle…

Seminoma of the Testis

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2: Testicular Cancer

Scrotum, scrotum burning bright
In the middle of the night
What infernal cancer now
Disrupts thy fearful symmetry?

Wikipedia

(Photo credit: Octavio Rojas)

1: Wikipedia:

Hey bub!
This poem
is only
a stub.

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29 thoughts on “Bad Poetry Insults My Intelligence

    • It’s in Wales, and it isn’t even the longest place name in the world. That title belongs to my fair land of New Zealand and it’s
      Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu and that I can pronounce lol
      It’s Toe ma ta fucka tonguee hunga cor oh woe aa ta ma tia po (like your saying pork) kie fenooa kitee unna taa hoe But that Welsh one …..pthb pass, that’s impossible lol

    • it’s pronounced in the best I can “clan-vire-pogh-gwin-gil-go-ger-ick-quan-dro-bite-quanti-silly-o-go-go-go”
      (how I know this? we have a thing called country days at my highschool where each class studies about a country and then decorate their room with culture stuff and random facts. my class did the UK and I was in charge of Wales)

      and there’s a link to a song to teach you. 🙂

  1. “Scrotum, scrotum burning bright
    In the middle of the night
    What infernal cancer now
    Disrupts thy fearful symmetry?”

    I’ve always hated changing classics but this is wayy better than tiger, tiger.

  2. Reblogged this on The Worlds top 10 of Anything and Everything!!! and commented:
    Today is Sunday which means it is guest post day! Today’s post is from ‘bumblepuppies’ and brings us the ten worst topics you could write a poem about , so I hope you enjoy it and show it as much love as you do my own top 10′s. But if you think you can do better or interested in doing the same please drop me an E-Mail: turtle4578588@gmail.com But until then here is today’s….

  3. Recently I’ve been posting stories in the Daily Prompt and always prose. Not that I think I am a brilliant writer, far from it but when I read what others have written, I find myself closing without reading when I discover it to be poetry. I just don’t want to spend the few minutes to read the submissions. I may be missing good stuff but I just can’t deal with it if it is not.

    • I generally do the same thing with poetry as I do for other posts. I start reading and stop when it’s clear that the post is no good. With poetry, one can quickly tell whether the author knows what they’re doing.

  4. Pingback: Satireday on Shit Happens | Shit Happens

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