Bad Poetry Insults My Intelligence

There’s lots of bad poetry on the web and I want to help it proliferate… sort of.  To assist you in becoming a productive contributor of garbage, here’s a list of the ten worst topics you could write a poem about.  Maybe you can insult my intelligence with your creations.

(And by the way, please welcome our friends who will be visiting us from The World’s Top 10 of Anything and Everything.  This will be doubling as a guest post over there.)

Phlegm

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

10: Phlegm

The winds, they wage a wheezing war
Which we can hardly stem.
The lungs, they lunge like lion’s leap
To loosen up the phlegm.

English: Mandarin orange (Citrus reticulata)

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

9: An orange

You can’t rhyme it and you can’t complain about the lack of rhymes.  That would be too predictable.

Headquarters of the NSA at Fort Meade, Marylan...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

8: The NSA

Every breath I take
And every move I make 
Every bond I break 
Every step I take
You’ll be watching me.

Basic Algebra Review

(Photo credit: Gene Wilburn)

7: Algebra

If 2x plus 4 over 7 is 3,
Then 20 plus 4x times 13 beats me.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantys...

(Photo credit: diluvienne)

6. The city of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Llanfair
pwllgwyngyll
gogerychwyrnd
robwllllantysilio
gogogoch!

Sweet town of
Llanfair
pwllgwyngyll
gogerychwyrnd
robwllllantysilio
gogogoch!

English: A selection of kitchen spatulas

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

5: A spatula

Be honest.  A poem about spatulas would make people flip.

English: Mothballs

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

4: Mothballs

My love, these mothballs I do take
And put them on my spoon.
And if my love you do forsake
I might die sometime soon.

Triple H wins the WWE Championship Match again...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

3: Wrestlemania

Because every poetry collection should mention oversized men in their underwear pretending to wrestle…

Seminoma of the Testis

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2: Testicular Cancer

Scrotum, scrotum burning bright
In the middle of the night
What infernal cancer now
Disrupts thy fearful symmetry?

Wikipedia

(Photo credit: Octavio Rojas)

1: Wikipedia:

Hey bub!
This poem
is only
a stub.