Restraint Insults My Intelligence

No, people… not “Restraints Insult My Intelligence.”  I’m not that crazy.

But, seriously, I do believe that the time has come to redecorate this blog.  I’ve been using the current design since April 2014 and it has this pesky little inability to be seen as-is on mobile devices.  Now that mobile users are the vast majority, I see no point in spending money to have a design that no one can view.

Unfortunately, I still have my paid upgrade until December.  I guess that means I’ll be having some fun.

Keep calm and don’t insult my intelligence.  The new design will follow boldly in the footsteps of what came before, or something like that.  In other words, the design will be more recent than the earlier versions.

I have been using the San Kloud theme since I started this blog back in May 2013.  Here’s the original background image I used with gray (yes, boring old gray) text boxes:

The San Kloud theme has a header menu and a cartoon cloud that contains the blog title.  This was designed to make the menu invisible and the cloud look like an oval.  It worked.

The San Kloud theme has a header menu plus a cartoon cloud that contains the blog title. This background image was designed to make the menu invisible and the cloud look like an oval. It worked.  Would you want to try reading a menu against this image?

That image is light, bright, cheerful, and obviously perfect for a blog about things that insult my intelligence.  Nevertheless, I decided to darken things up a couple of months later:

This was a saved file I didn't delete.  The original background image was photo edited from this one, not the other way around.

This was a saved file I didn’t delete. My first background image was photo edited from this one, not the other way around.  Actually, I think this was originally step six along the way.

So instead of white tread marks, I now had dark tread marks.  To get these images, I had tortured a close-up scan of an article of clothing.  With all those tread marks, you might think it was underwear.

Anyway…

The blog most of you have come to know, love, admire, and dream about has looked like this for over a year:

Those lines at the top left are remnants of the theme's header menu.  Eliminating those was one of the last things I learned to do with CSS.

Those lines at the top left are remnants of the theme’s header menu. Eliminating those was one of the last things I learned to do with CSS.

Now, you may have noticed that I kind of skipped 5-6 months in my little chronology.  That was this blog’s psychedelic green period.  Instead of a bright blue (with orange borders ) header and text boxes, I used neon green with blue borders.  And the background image looked like this:

Pass the weed, man.

Pass the weed, man.

Despite the drug humor, that image has a clean origin: it was a resized and recolored scan from a box of bath soap.

And now that you’ve seen a little of this blog’s history, you may be wondering where the design is going next.  Well, I ain’t telling.  The design should be up sometime in the next week and hopefully it will be good enough that I’ll want to keep it beyond December.

I even remembered enough CSS to get a lot of things programmed already.  Who says that the unemployed can’t learn and retain new tricks?

And be forewarned: don’t expect much restraint in the new design.  As you can see, we don’t do restraint around here.

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7 thoughts on “Restraint Insults My Intelligence

  1. This was fascinating for me. Especially since I originally met you (I believe) when I asked a question about sprucing up the look of my own blog on a WordPress community message board. You were the only one kind enough to answer and in great detail too. I knew you knew what you were doing and based on what you can do with a box of bath soap, I’m even more impressed now. What’s next? A tube of toothpaste?

    • A tube of toothpaste? Interesting idea…

      In all seriousness, the new version moves towards something I have usually recommended against. However, we’ll see if it works anyway.

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