Temptation Insults My Intelligence

Even though I had decided not to do any more award acceptances, this one had way too much baggage entertainment value for me to skip it.

So here we go.  Ron Lewis has nominated me for the Liebster Award.  Before I get to the good stuff, I’ll deal with his question first:

 

If you inherited a lot of money or won the lottery and never had to worry about money or work again, how would that change your life, and what would you like to do that is different?

 

And my answer:

 

I would never worry about money or work again, and that’s what I would like to do differently.

But now the fun part:  Ron’s ex-wife also follows this blog.

I will behave myself.
I will behave myself.
I will behave myself.
I will behave myself.

I warned Ron and his ex that I wasn’t sure I wanted to do an award acceptance post, but both urged me to do an entertaining one.  They know I’m always happy to please my readers.

Therefore:

The following is a fictional representation.  Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

An insurance salesman and a menopausal pentagenarian walk into a bar.

 

Before the party started. (Photo credit: Evan Munro)

 

The women were all over the salesman because he’s built exactly like Brock Lesnar.  Or maybe they just needed insurance.  You never know.

On the other hand, the lady more closely resembles Weird Al Yankovic, but with a much better figure and no discernible facial hair… plus makeup and a vagina.  And since the average 20-something guy would grope anything that sports a pair of DD’s and some nice long hair, Madame Yankovic was getting plenty of positive attention too.

Our two protagonists had somehow remained friends even though they were divorced.  However, the divorce opened up a brand new can of worms that neither of them could have expected.  Madame Yankovic, clad in her favorite hot pink lamé body suit with “Abercrombie” printed across the butt, had always been popular with her sons’ friends… but now the sons were away at college.  The friends, however, were not and a couple of them frequented that very bar.

Upon seeing her, the two friends walked up to her and started making nice; her sons weren’t there to dissuade their friends from an attempted “conquest.”  And the friends knew they didn’t have to fear Mr. Lesnar anymore because of the divorce but they could have never predicted Madame Yankovic’s reaction to their advances.  You see, Madame Yankovic is an upstanding human being with no ethical weaknesses whatsoever.  Therefore, the emerging threat to her chastity inspired her to rush to the nearest church and take a few vows.

Sister Mary Alfred Yankovic is now the sexiest nun in California.  And, fortunately for her, the enemies of virtue would never think she’d consider life in a convent.  Her morals are permanently safe now.

Meanwhile, Mr. Lesnar is living it up with the ladies.  He remains comfortable and a little smug with the knowledge that he gets a lot more action than his religiously affiliated ex.  Plus, the nuns eagerly purchased insurance from him because he was so understanding of his ex-wife’s religious “enlightenment.”

So they all lived happily ever after.

Blogger’s notes:

I’m not spending my time nominating blogs for the Liebster Award because I need to wash my hair.  If you want an award, consider yourself nominated.  Or you can have this nifty award.

Also, be sure to come back to this post and check for new comments now and again.  Them lovebirds will surely entertain you with their witticisms.