Barking Insults My Intelligence

Once upon a time there was a cute little puppy…

Beagle puppy

Cute little puppy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Unfortunately, the puppy had no unique talents.  He knew how to pee and how to bark and how to fetch.  He also knew a few other doggy tricks that made his owners happy, but he didn’t know how to become famous.

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In his sadness, the puppy started howling at the moon and the racket woke up his neighbors.  Soon enough, their door opened and an old, tired-looking man started walking his way.

The puppy was scared.  Very scared.

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The old man also knew that the puppy had other hidden talents.  For example, the puppy knew how to hump a person’s leg.  “That’s perfect for your first concert tour,” the old man said.  “Just get up there and shake your hips and yelp and you’ll make a lot of people very happy.”

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And that, boys and girls, is where wealthy pop stars come from.

Bad Photo Captions Insult My Intelligence

Dead puppy on a stick

Dead puppy on a stick (Photo credit: thumeco)

dead puppy (n.): Along with religion and politics, one of the three most controversial topics you can write about.  Especially if you do a food blog.

I apologize to any readers who may be sensitive to such humor. I was writing another post and Zemanta gave me this photo with the caption “dead puppy on a stick.”   Although “dead puppy on a stick” sounds like something that might be served at a state fair, the caption seemed sort of off.  Especially because the puppy had turned green. 

I doubt that’s tasty.

And maybe this post will finally get me some interesting Google search results to write about.

Puppy Haters Insult My Intelligence

An Adorable Puppy

(Photo credit: Timothy Tolle)

Awww.   Look at that cute little puppy!  Who wouldn’t melt at the sight of his adorable face?  And the way he looks at you with those eyes is nothing short of spellbinding.  And those ears!  They are just too precious!  He looks like he wants to cuddle and cuddle and cuddle all day long.  This is what blogs were made for.

Did I forget to mention that the puppy is cute?

Ahem.

Now that I’ve written enough to fill the text box in the WordPress Reader, I’d like to tell you about an experiment I’m conducting.  I’m trying to determine if a correlation exists between a love for puppies and a love for this guy:

According to Bullock, Hitler was an opportunis...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Please help me discover the truth.  If you love puppies AND Adolf Hitler, please click the “Like” button for this post.  If you appreciate this post and want to let me know, please leave a comment instead.

By clicking the “Like” button, you authorize me to use your name as well as any content from your blog.  Don’t click “Like” unless you are a proud Neo-Nazi; I may feature you in a subsequent post about blithering idiots.  Even if you unclick the “Like” button later on, I will retain an email record of your earlier click.  Therefore, by clicking “Like,” you affirm the legal nullification of your future attempts to distance yourself from puppies and/or Hitler.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Moral of the story: Never click the “Like” button on a blog post unless you have read the entire thing.  You never know what lunacy you may be encouraging.  You also never know if you’re dragging your name through the mud.