Once upon a time, a young Mr. Duck was enamored with a certain Ms. Duck. He’d keep his eyes glued on her and she’d just swim on by, oblivious to his existence.
One fine summer day, Mr. Duck realized that he’d need something really big to grab her attention. And, lo and behold, a gargantuan human clad in a Daffy Duck t-shirt came ambling towards the lake.
Mr Duck, mistaking himself for an owl, wisely deduced that Mr. Human was a fan. Maybe Mr. Human would assist with his procreative efforts. So Mr. Duck flapped and flapped and quacked and quacked and got a lot of attention for himself and his beloved.
Unfortunately for the not-quite-couple, it was duck season, not wabbit season. Fortunately for us, we get a crispy story of culinary love instead of sappy sentimentality.
This summer, find your true love and put it on a plate.
I’d like to take a moment to express my undying love for my readers and for everyone out there who does not read this blog. I love all of you and I love the kittens and the salamanders and the entire animal kingdom. Of course, I love trees and I love knees and I love fees. Yes, I love fees. I love parking fees and I love shipping fees and I love processing fees and I love mystery fees that show up on my lovely receipts when I go shopping at stores, all of which I love too. Even Wal-Mart.
I started this blog to bring more positivity into the world because everything in the world is beautiful. And everyone is good. We must have our human interest stories and our constant praise of everything and everyone so as not to shatter anyone’s artificially inflated ego. When responding to things other people have done, I always remain mindful of this psychological feather cloud. Everyone deserves to be told how perfect they are, constantly and consistently, and they deserve to hear those words expressed honestly every time.
Love must happen 24 hours a day, every day, until we gloriously ascend beyond this life. We must make sure this happens. We must actively eliminate all those who practice constructive criticism and anything else that makes people feel bad. No criticism is constructive, but I love the criticizers anyway. We should reeducate them so that they may become better adapted to society’s needs.
I intend for love to blossom here every time I post something new. Love inspired my initial forays into writing and it continues to do so. My heart rejoiced at the opportunity to convert the masses to the ways of love and I overflow with delight every time I imagine someone’s life becoming more beautiful because of my writing.
As a token of these warm feelings, I wish to share a joyous song that will fill your heart with happiness and nostalgia, reminding you how writing elevates the soul. Please be sure to reflect on the song’s deeper meaning so that you may be fully uplifted.
Power Point is beautiful.
This Valentine’s Day, don’t just tell her how much you care.
Show her how much you love her with a Power Point Presentation
Power Point makes your bumbling so much easier to understand
Flowers and candy aren’t enough
And the effects of an elaborate Power Point Presentation are always predictable
Before you know it, she’ll be asking you to guide her to bed
Which brings you to your ultimate goal
Unless she has a headache