Day Insults My Intelligence

Don’t you hate the masses of tourists that clog all the sites and turn your nice peaceful vacation into a noisy game of human bumper cars?

Me too.

That’s why I would go out at night.  When I did, I could find things like this:

London's Big Ben shines at night.

London’s Big Ben shines at night.

No tourists and no traffic.  Just me and the view and the muggers and the rapists and the murders who I luckily managed to avoid.  That’s quite a contrast.

The Circus Insulted My Intelligence

When I think of circuses, I imagine bright and colorful lights shining down on breathtaking performances.  I imagine animals prancing around in all their glory.  I imagine crowds of people, including babies who are afraid of clowns.

And so I visited Piccadilly Circus while I was in London and discovered this:

circusI got my bright and colorful lights shining down on magnificent architectural performances, but somehow my enjoyment wasn’t heightened.  I got animals prancing around, although I didn’t need to travel so far to see homo sapiens in my own natural habitat.

However, I did see crowds of people.  I’m sure any baby would fear the clowns (a.k.a. tourists) you can find here on any given day.

Even though one can find plenty of restaurants nearby, why would a tourist choose to pause here?   London explodes with greater attractions than these gaudy advertisements… even though the ads happen to be juxtaposed with worthwhile stuff.

Noise Insults My Intelligence

Queen Elizabeth has a much larger family than you ever knew about.  Here’s a picture of her lesser-known sons:

guards

You don’t think those are her children?  Well… like any good child, these folks have elaborate noisemakers to drive their matriarch crazy whenever she’s trying to enjoy a nice quiet cup of tea or take a nap or whatever it is queens do during the day.  And of course these guys have to do it right outside the house.  It’s enough to give a lady gray hair.

This must be why the queen looks so old.

Technology Insults My Intelligence

With incandescent light bulbs having been eliminated (controversially) in the U.S. in favor of fluorescent bulbs, I’d like to remind people of a little history.  This photo was taken at the Tower of London:

An old source of light.

An old source of light.

Defenders of incandescent bulbs proclaim the “natural light” they give off.  Compared to these candles, incandescent bulbs aren’t so natural.

Defenders of fluorescent bulbs proclaim their environmental friendliness.  Well, these candles use even less electricity and presumably were produced locally without the use of factories that pollute the surrounding countryside.

In conclusion, both sides of today’s debate are full of crap.