Ignoring Your Love Insults My Intelligence

Natasha of Natasha’s Memory Garden has nominated me for the WordPress Family Award.  That means it’s another exciting day of shameless self-promotion here at Bumblepuppies!

To celebrate, I’ve designed my own award logo:

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Somehow, the traditional touchy-feely version didn’t quite do it for me.

And now it’s time for seven more things you don’t know about me.

1- I enjoyed teaching (which is how I could afford to get through grad school) but the one type of job I don’t apply for is teaching positions in my major.  I’m demonstrably competent and qualified to teach related subjects but I’ve had no luck on that front.

2- Even though I occasionally make jokes that imply otherwise, I have no fear of math.

3- I do not have a library card, probably because I don’t read the kind of stuff public libraries tend to offer.

4- Off the top of my head, I cannot name five movies that have been released over the past five years.  So… I’m not exactly a film buff.

5- Off the top of my head, I can name dozens of varieties of central- and eastern European pork products.

6- I also think turkey is tasty.  This is why I’ve never needed a cardiologist.  (Not that I could afford one anyway…)

7- I would love to try chocolate covered grasshoppers.  If you know of a shop in the U.S. that ships them, send me a link.  Seriously.

The 15 blogs I’m nominating will appear after a few more paragraphs.  Blogs that were nominated last time were not considered for this because everyone should have the opportunity to advertise my blog.

If you need help advertising me and weren’t nominated for this award, you can always tweet about me or like me on Facebook.  Facebook and Twitter may insult my intelligence but your expressions of love and admiration do not.  (On the other hand, the only things I send out on the blog’s token accounts are the automated notifications of new posts.  I don’t think I’ve logged into either since creating those accounts and connecting them to this blog.)

(A note to the nominees: you may use my award logo if you wish, even if you’re not dysfunctional.  Since it displays the “Bumblepuppies” name prominently, I would be more than happy to see it go viral.)

Balladeer’s Blog

http://glitternight.com/2013/08/06/liberals-conservatives-intelligence/

Dad’s Political Cartoon Scrapbook 1939 to 1940

http://dadspoliticalcartoonscrapbook.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/keeping-him-happy/

dental eggs

http://dentaleggs.com/2013/07/18/root-canals-for-ultimate-profits/

fisticuffsandshenanigans

http://fisticuffsandshenanigans.wordpress.com/2013/08/04/because-woodland-creatures-have-inhabited-my-car/

Games, Eh?

http://gameoncanada.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/lara-croft-product-of-sexism/

Homeward Bound

http://carlosddvieira.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/we-mustnt-cry-more-than-the-bereaved/

Is Everyone an Idiot but Me?

http://iseveryoneanidiotbutme.com/2013/08/04/idiot-of-the-week-an-open-letter-to-the-old-navy-director-of-email-marketing/

Kitchen Slattern

http://kitchenslattern.com/2011/09/30/saturday-night-is-bean-night/

muscleheaded

http://muscleheaded.wordpress.com/2013/08/07/anais-nin-says-3/

NOWHERE TO RUN

http://drlisamallen.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/what-would-mima-do/

ONLY IN NIGERIA

http://onlyinnigeria.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/lagos-roads-where-is-dis/

overlandscape

http://overlandscape.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/geiranger-trollstigen-and-briksdal-glacier/

See! Travel Mag

http://seetravelmag.com/2013/08/06/raging-bitch-and-heady-topper/

Seven Years Late

http://sevenyearslate.wordpress.com/2013/08/04/proposal-congressional-shock-collar/

Tabula Candida

http://tabulacandida.wordpress.com/2013/08/07/humanities/

The Shine On Award Insults My Intelligence

Oh boy!  I won, I won, I won!

Ahem.

It seems that Will over at Games, eh? has nominated me for a chain letter an award.   The Shine On Award, to be specific.

This is perfect for me because, as you can tell, I’m the warm and fuzzy type.  Maybe I’ll let my candelabra do the shining so I can have some fun with this thing.

Dog food

Is this my reward? (Photo credit: Marianne Birkholz)

So, without further ado, here are the seven things you don’t know about me that I’m required to share as part of this award:

1- I’ve got two legs from my hips to the ground and when I move them they walk around.  (Hey!  You shouldn’t assume…)

2- I like to wash my hands after I use the toilet.  (Again, don’t assume.)

3- I think mice are rather nice.  Especially when they’re scaring people.  The same goes for cockroaches and toddlers.

4- I have a Ph.D.  It is not from the University of Phoenix but thank you for asking.  Unlike most people with my level of education, becoming a professor doesn’t appeal to me.  I have to explain this in every single job interview, which would get old after a while if I weren’t always thankful that a potential employer didn’t immediately scrap my application because they think I’d rather be back in the ivory tower.  Job hunting insults my intelligence.

5- I have registered a second blog domain but I haven’t decided what to do with it yet.

6- I am technically a published author but I don’t think you’d want to read that work.  Completely different genre and also quite expensive…

7- I am bilingual.

And for the 15 blogs I’m nominating for the award, I’m providing two links.  The first is for the blog; the second is for a recent post (so they’ll get a pingback and know to write a similar acceptance speech in which they provide free advertising for my blog.  Free advertising is nothing to sneeze at.)

When picking the 15, I went with newer blogs and people who have never been Freshly Pressed (as far as I know).  Here they are:

Architectural Disaster LOL

http://archidisasterlol.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/why-women-live-longer-6/

Big Dog Diving

http://bigdogdiving.wordpress.com/2013/07/13/henrietta/

Chronicles of a Public Transit User

http://publictransituser.wordpress.com/2013/07/14/sunset-weekly-photo-challenge-the-golden-hour/

if all else fails…use a hammer

http://kokkieh.wordpress.com/2013/07/09/on-vacation-not-really/

land of quo

http://landofquo.com/2013/07/12/i-dont-blame-them/

The Laughing Housewife

http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/joke-841/

List of X

http://listofx.wordpress.com/2013/07/09/10-countries-that-refused-to-grant-political-asylum-to-edward-snowden/

Mean Green Math

http://meangreenmath.com/2013/07/12/a-great-algebra-question-or-is-it/

Memories of a Time

http://memoriesofatime.com/2013/07/09/shredding-the-past-of-me/

Mumblings From Beyond

http://artbymike08.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/next-time-you-save-the-universe-make-sure-you-know-how-to-google-reverse-sku-search-diagnose-hardware-and-software-issues-and-make-a-step-by-step-electronics-fix-it-book-for-your-wife/

Pouring My Art Out

http://pouringmyartout.wordpress.com/2013/07/14/yes-my-daughters-new-website-is-classy/

Rain Upon the Synaptic Desert

http://rainuponthesynapticdesert.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/top-40-radio-the-antonym-of-music/

Sticky Tudaman

http://stickytudaman.com/2013/07/13/sticky-tudaman-texas-pro-abortion-protest-strategies/

Vancouverandy

http://vancouverandy.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/masturbation-in-a-t-v-commercial-read-on-to-learn-more/

Why I didn’t blog today

http://whyididntblog.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/printed/

Earthlink Insults My Intelligence

We had a small storm here recently.  It knocked out power for less than 24 hours, but it was no catastrophe.  Twelve hours after the lights came back on, I called Earthlink to ask when internet service would be back.  They said there was a large outage area and it would be back the next morning.  That deadline came and went and now it’s afternoon.  I called again and was told not to contact them again for another twenty four hours.

Their website has claimed that there have been no outage areas this entire time.  I guess we aren’t supposed to have cell phones to look things up with.  (You’d think an internet company would be familiar with technology.)  Or maybe they don’t want to publicly admit the outage.

I will post again when I can use a real keyboard.  My hand hurts, but probably not as much as their brains hurt, what with all the work they’re having to do.

UPDATE: 3 1/2 hours later, my internet connection is back.  Moral of the story: blogging the problem gets faster results than calling support.

Microsoft Insults My Intelligence

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Text version:

Welcome to Macrohard Windowpanes 666.

We thank you for purchasing the new edition of our software.

Even though we know you loved Windowpanes 665, it was no longer possible for us to provide the high quality customer support you expect for that product.

We promise to provide excellent customer service for this product until all of its many glitches have been worked out.

Once the bugs have been fixed, Windowpanes 667 will be ready for purchase.

Please click “Continue” to move forward with installation.  It’s not like you have a choice.

Would you like to back up your computer files now?  Files that are not backed up may be permanently lost during the installation process.  Files that are backed up may not open properly with your new operating system.

Thank you for backing up your documents.  Would you like to purchase Macrohard’s extended service plan?  This will protect you and your computer in the unlikely event that our software crashes.

Are you sure you don’t want to purchase the extended service plan?

If you change your mind, please visit http://www.verminsoftware.macrohard.com/customersupport/obligatory.  Please click “continue” to transfer all program files to your computer and finalize the installation.

ERROR 501K: Your computer does not have the required permissions to install this software.  Please contact your extended service representative for more details.  Please click “exit” to close the installer.