Gun Owners Insult My Intelligence

Has anyone else noticed that there’s too much gun violence in the United States?

No?

Okay, you’ll have to trust me on this one.  We have this Second Amendment thing here that gives us the right to own weapons.  Lots of weapons.  Big weapons.  Shiny weapons.  Deadly and fun weapons.

We start at a young age here.  (Photo credit: sirfoxyprincess)

We start at a young age here. (Photo credit: sirfoxyprincess)

I like the Second Amendment.

Guns have been shown to deter crime when they’re not aiding crime.  If only there were a way to get the deterrent effect without all those pesky negatives.

With that in mind, I’d like to make a proposal.  The problem with gun owners is that they’re often the people who think guns are cool; that means they’d have relatively little aversion to firing one.  We should mandate that guns be given to the people who are least likely to shoot them and most likely to exercise good judgment by storing them in an appropriate gun safe.

Let’s start by arming all Catholic priests.  Everyone knows that no priest would ever harm an innocent person.  Moreover, the Church has demonstrated its willingness and ability to police wrongdoing when its members don’t meet the highest of moral standards.

After all, the clergy loves holy things, not holey things.

We all know what Jesus would do.  (Photo credit: RIOT Devon England)

We all know what Jesus would do. (Photo credit: RIOT Devon England)

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13 thoughts on “Gun Owners Insult My Intelligence

  1. Mind blown. And I’m now imaging fully robed nuns and priests with heavy weaponry Jason Statham style, and trying not to imagine the possible interpretations of “holey!”

  2. Archie Bunker once said; If they armed every passenger on airplanes, there would be no more hijackings… hard to argue with that logic… not would it do any good too… (or; you can pry a decent bit of intelligence out of my cold, dead brain… to misquote Charlton Heston… or was it Dick Cheney?)

  3. We have here in Indonesia no gun-stores at all because of the very restricting weapon-laws and very low gun-crime (but a lot of others). It’s just the opposite in the Philippines, where there are lot of gun-stores everywhere. So we have to cut our neighbors, which is much more complicated and needs more time.

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