Sweet Dreams Insult My Intelligence

I got drunk on holiday spirit yesterday and had a wild dream last night.

Imagine a woman, completely naked but with none of her fun parts showing.  (I  keep things clean and tasteful even while I sleep.  Too bad…)  The lady suffers from some sort of skin condition, as I can see slits covering her entire body; they most closely resemble fish gills.

After taking a moment to examine this lovely specimen, it’s time to play a game of Risk.  Lines appear across the body and I start choosing the territories I desire.  Contrary to expectation, I take real estate in the shoulder and arm region.

Of course, I am not playing alone.  I can’t see my opponents but I do have to signal each time my turn ends.  One spot on the woman’s body has been designated as the chess clock.  You know the procedure in tournament chess, don’t you?  Same thing here.  After taking my turn, I have to press the territory located on the upper inside thigh.  There’s a lot of reaching and groping involved, but again nothing beyond a PG rating.  I find myself wishing that my dream could enter the grown-up realm.

My wish is granted, sort of.  Once the body has been divvied up, large pieces of broken glass suddenly appear in the slits across her body.  Strangely, this causes no pain but perhaps some discomfort… and my game board starts moving as though she wants to stand up.

You know what?  When inserted in your skin, broken glass causes tremendous pain when you’re not lying completely still.

She doesn’t get far.

And so:

Screaming.  Screaming.  Screaming.

And no blood.  Wait a minute… no blood?

I wake up.

I walk to my window and discover the midnight sky glittering like a million shards of glass in the body of a heavenly goddess.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever. (Public domain)