The Eighth Day of Christmas Insults My Intelligence

The eighth thing at Christmas that has insulted me:

Eight vegan cookies

(Photo credit: veganchicksrock)

These will soon be eight healthy landfill components.  (Photo credit: veganchicksrock)

Seven cancelled flights

(Photo credit for original: Allen Skyy)

Even the airplane food tastes better.   (Photo credit for original: Allen Skyy)

Six sixes sixing

Because Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and Christmas are too culturally exclusive, the local Satanist Temple has registered a new holiday: Satan’s Solstice.  Although the solstice part has some historical legitimacy, it’s just not politically correct to exclude a contemporary religious belief system from the naming convention.

Guess who dreamed up the cookies…

Five drunk fratboys

Cookies also make excellent beer coasters.  (Arthur Browne created this image. Art likes monkeys, probably because he claims to be a monkey. You can see more monkeys on his blog, Pouring My Art Out.)

Four weeks of church

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And as penance for missing church for the previous 11 months, you will say five Hail Marys and eat six cookies.  (Thanks to James O’Neil at Memories of a Time for providing the image.  He also did the glasswork.)

 

Three Santas

(Photo credit: Josh Roulston)

There’s a lump of coal in every cookie.  (Photo credit: Josh Roulston)

Two tacky gifts

(Photo credit for original: Richard Huber)

Unfortunately, the cookies are difficult to regift the following year, especially compared to other Christmas monstrosities that also resemble food.  (Photo credit for original: Richard Huber)

And the kid who wants a large breed

(Photo credit: Steve Harris)

If you eat the cookies, you are less likely to become tiger food.  Tigers don’t like them either.  (Photo credit: Steve Harris)

Blogger’s note: This is (obviously) a 12 part series.  All photos will have new captions in each post, so you’ll miss a lot if you only read day 12.  For all completed posts in this series, click on the “twelve days of Christmas” link below.

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