The Sixth Day of Christmas Insults My Intelligence

The sixth thing at Christmas that has insulted me:

Six sixes sixing

Because Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and Christmas are too culturally exclusive, the local Satanist Temple has registered a new holiday: Satan’s Solstice.  Although the solstice part has some historical legitimacy, it’s just not politically correct to exclude a contemporary religious belief system from the naming convention.

Because Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and Christmas are too culturally exclusive, the local Satanist Temple has endorsed a new December observance: Satan’s Sunset.  We must not allow this, primarily because holidays must be as historically and culturally authentic as the Christmas tree is to Christianity.

Five drunk fratboys

These guys thought up Satan’s Sunset as a joke and then they were transformed into monkeys as punishment. (Arthur Browne created this image. Art likes monkeys, probably because he claims to be a monkey. You can see more monkeys on his blog, Pouring My Art Out.)

Four weeks of church

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Holy war, anyone?  (Thanks to James O’Neil at Memories of a Time for providing the image.  He also did the glasswork.)

 

Three Santas

(Photo credit: Josh Roulston)

Because of the red suits, Christian Conservatives are now calling for the removal of all Santas from shopping malls because they can be mistaken for Satan’s minions.  (Photo credit: Josh Roulston)

Two tacky gifts

(Photo credit for original: Richard Huber)

The green compliments Satan’s red nicely. (Photo credit for original: Richard Huber)

And the kid who wants a large breed

(Photo credit: Steve Harris)

And she wants one that hasn’t been ritually sacrificed yet.  Tiger meat doesn’t count. (Photo credit: Steve Harris)

Blogger’s note: This is (obviously) a 12 part series.  All photos will have new captions in each post, so you’ll miss a lot if you only read day 12.  For all completed posts in this series, click on the “twelve days of Christmas” link below.

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