Popular Businesses Insult My Intelligence

Of businesses.

(I could end my poem here and it wouldn’t seem incomplete, right?)

I think this guy has interviewed me a few times.  (Photo Credit: J.J.)

I think this guy has interviewed me a few times. (Photo Credit: J.J.)


of businesses
that everyone loves,
that everyone admires,
that everyone dreams of working for.

Two million applicants per job vacancy.
One million
nine hundred ninety nine thousand
they don’t have to

HR can be
Then comes the
Long hours,
low pay,
no respect,
weak benefits.

You know the drill.

But if the office
a swimming pool,
pool table,
nifty decorations,
and free food…

No one will notice the shit?


Until the shit hits
their fan
and their replacements
show up and
the free food.

17 thoughts on “Popular Businesses Insult My Intelligence

  1. This sounds familiar….

    In a fit of YouTube binging, I discovered a despicable little turd of a show called Undercover Boss. A CEO dresses down and pretends to be a new employee to watch his or her minions in action. Every episode invariably ends with the superior feeling temporarily inferior, the minions receiving much praise (Good doggie!), and a few token gifts being tossed like Frisbees on the way out to the hardest suffering cogs in the wheel.

    Mind you, no action is taken to lessen their ongoing suffering, no adjustments in strategy, policy, or benefits are made. Just a few distractions in the form of a week’s vacation and a wasted fifteen minutes of fame on a low brow cable show and Mr./Mrs./Miss Employee is back at the salt mines, chipping away obediently at the CEO’s new Lexus down payment.

    (pause for vomit)

    I made it through five episodes before I locked down the pattern, then I added all the companies to my Do Not Patronize List.

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