Orgies Insult My Intelligence

Because today is Monday, it’s time for some twisted fun.  And when it comes to twisted fun, no one beats the ancient Greeks.  They had orgies.

(The ancient Greeks remain famous for their parties.  Photo Credit: Shakko)

So what if these orgies were religious rites?  There’s not much difference between those and today’s celebrations. 

Need proof?

The ancient Greeks believed that ambrosia was the food of the gods.  It was like candy to them. Modern orgies haven’t changed much except Candy is a she, not an it. Cries to at least one god also permeate the modern orgy atmosphere.

The ancient Greeks rode asses.  I think no further explanation is necessary on this point.

Orgies did not happen on Mondays in ancient Greece because Monday had not been invented yet.  Orgies do not happen on Mondays in modern times because fraternities and sororities expect their members to wear at least a toga at all times.  Businesses, on the other hand, prefer to keep employee ethics at a permanently high level because they love moral philosophy; therefore, no orgies on weekdays.

People who were excluded from either form of orgy might literally or figuratively be found singing the blues.  Those who weren’t excluded might find themselves nursing bruises that are a lovely shade of blue.

And here’s something else you can sing if you like.  It was the inspiration for this post: