Old and dusty foodstuffs are mummifying in my pantry.
We all go through phases where we eat a lot of one thing and then change to something else for one reason or another. After that, cans and bottles and jars and boxes just sit and sit and sit and sit until we have to make a decision on whether to throw them away.
The environmentalist in us wants to say that the 10-year-old can of tomatoes is still good because the tomatoes aren’t moldy and they don’t smell bad. We shouldn’t waste so much food.
The hypochondriac in us wonders why we allowed ourselves to inhale the vapors of those 10-year-old-tomatoes.
The biologist in us wants to put those tomatoes under a microscope because there’s probably some pretty nifty stuff growing on there.
The chemist in us realizes that the can had probably released enough carcinogens into those tomatoes to make them poisonous to whatever interesting microorganisms we may have found.
Our ER doctor realizes that those chemicals can also be toxic to us not-so-micro organisms.
Our local mortician is grateful for the proliferation of mummified foodstuffs. You’d think that the availability of cost-free mummification would hurt a mortician’s business, but…