Dead Food Insults My Intelligence

Old and dusty foodstuffs are mummifying in my pantry.

Come on, admit it.

Admit it.  Your pantry needs cleaning too.  (Photo credit: slworking2)

We all go through phases where we eat a lot of one thing and then change to something else for one reason or another. After that, cans and bottles and jars and boxes just sit and sit and sit and sit until we have to make a decision on whether to throw them away.

The environmentalist in us wants to say that the 10-year-old can of tomatoes is still good because the tomatoes aren’t moldy and they don’t smell bad.  We shouldn’t waste so much food.

The hypochondriac in us wonders why we allowed ourselves to inhale the vapors of those 10-year-old-tomatoes.

The biologist in us wants to put those tomatoes under a microscope because there’s probably some pretty nifty stuff growing on there.

The chemist in us realizes that the can had probably released enough carcinogens into those tomatoes to make them poisonous to whatever interesting microorganisms we may have found.

Our ER doctor realizes that those chemicals can also be toxic to us not-so-micro organisms.

Our local mortician is grateful for the proliferation of mummified foodstuffs. You’d think that the availability of cost-free mummification would hurt a mortician’s business, but…

33 thoughts on “Dead Food Insults My Intelligence

  1. Not to mention if a tin happens to move into a dark space where it is forgotten it might/will explode and that is a mess (she said as she was scraping dark brown sticky pineapple juice from the wall of the cupboard).

      • I think about a year after the use before date – it was just not seen. I hope you now do not imagine my kithen being a potential danger zone. It was a wonder I didn’t hear the explosion when it happened. That did not insult my intelligence, at that moment I did not seem to have any to be insulted.

  2. Currently I’m living in my father’s house, which used to be his parents’ house. I’m not kidding when I say nothing has changed since they bought it — over 50 years ago. Including many items in the cabinets.

    I try to help my dad get this place in order, but there’s only so far I will go. I’m prepared to let any food items sit until they disappear, kill us, or grow into mutants (and then kill us). If we’re lucky, they’ll stay dormant until we sell/move/die and the next family moves in.

    Remind me not to leave this house to my son in my will.

  3. You have nice idea about the topic and your blog post is unique and intersting. The bad side of can food is that we can forget it for a long long time without noticing. I prefer fesh food and things must be used in day 🙂

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