Peace Insults My Intelligence

Suffering builds character.

While everyone was busy ducking and covering in the 1980’s and marveling over the guy who “did not have sexual relations with that woman” in the 1990’s, too much happiness and cheer were going on.  And then people get all nostalgic about all that “wonderful” 80’s music or 90’s music just because it was playing during all those important childhood moments.

Get over it.

Long-time followers of this blog already know how I feel about the American music industry.  They feed us domestic crap and then they import the smelliest crap (sans flies) from overseas.

And so we get Falco and Ace of Base and nothing truly worthwhile.

Do you know what’s worthwhile?

Pain.

Yes, pain.  And transforming those songs into a more explicit version of the pain that they have caused so many people.

So let’s go back to Falco and the dirty little hit job he did on Mozart.  How did that song make you feel?  Perhaps warm and fuzzy like these guys?

Those of us who always hated Falco’s music have become superior moral beings because we had to suffer through it.  Umbra Et Imago’s improved version would help the more mainstream idiots grow in character.

It’s amazing what those melodic low notes can do for a song and for a few blubbering fools.

And then there’s Ace of Base.  I will not bore you with any description because I’m sure that the band has bored you enough already.   However, I will provide you with a lovelier version of an Ace of Base song so that you might truly understand what it means to be an ace:

And once you become wise like me, you will find that the heavy discordant notes now sound normal and you’ll need something different to prevent yourself from becoming a mindless zombie follower of your new musical love.

This is why God invented duets.

Just find the best approximation of your favorite Brazilian death metal band and dummy up the most unlikely musical partner for them…

Now that’s a song that would have been worth losing your virginity to all those years ago.

13 thoughts on “Peace Insults My Intelligence

      • I do. That song never made sense to me. At the time it was an international hit I had a (much younger) Swiss boyfriend who lip-synced it with alarmingly cute little gestures like kids might do in an elementary school performance. Forever that song is lemon sandwich cookies and Malibu. I’m leaving now. That’s all just too disturbing.

      • P.S. Around that time I decided surrealism wasn’t discovered EVER. Someone just renamed reality.

  1. I rather liked the “Rock Me Amadeus” but not too taken with the rest. Have a listen to my music and see if it inspires you. Try the latest album “Manaus Where Two rivers Meet”. There are 10 original songs plus a story at the end on the 11th.
    Leslie

    • I shall have to do that. (I noticed a lot of religious material on your blog but the music doesn’t seem to follow along that path. I’m not exactly big on religious music.)

      • There is a certain beauty to the Church music. My music is just pure fun with the occasional political rant and a story about the places we visited.
        Leslie

      • Just to add to my last comment, I play the flute for St Francis Xavier Church every sunday. It is a regular gig for me. So I have a lot of experience with Church music. Also don’t forget that Amadeus – that being Mozart wrote a lot of religious music too.
        Leslie

  2. I never did like Falco but I wouldn’t do him the honour of calling it suffering. Suffering for me was the 70s with the likes of Abba, Genesis and all that boring pomp rock. The 80s were cool – just remember Flesh for Lulu, Lords of the New Church, Punishment of Luxury, Fleshtones, 39 Clocks, Cabaret Voltaire, Pyrolator, The Fall, Laibach, Einstürzende Neubauten, Sisters of Mercy, Gun Club …the 80s were also the time when lots of small independent labels started, making it so much easier for bands that didn’t fit the mainstream to get a record contract. Musically, it was a great creative time – politically not so much …

    Thanx for Knorkator – here’s some more cool stuff by them:
    Wir werden alle sterben (We’re all going to die ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7-60tyLQhA
    Alter Mann (Old Man) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1-z__vJi-0

    • I would complain about the 70’s but that’s before my time, but you make a good point about what the 80’s offered beneath the surface.

      As for the Knorkator stuff, I had been hoping “Alter Mann” would be a Rammstein remake along the lines of what they did to “Highway to Hell.” “Geh zu ihr” is also pretty neat, especially if you look up a good translation on the lyrics.

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