If You Lose Your Head While Cooking, It Insults My Intelligence

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ve probably noticed that I enjoy “risky” eating.  Things like deep fried bratwurst, brains, and other nonstandard (in the U.S.) foods regularly share their generous flavors with my tongue.

And so today at long last I bring you a new taste treat, one that the laziest chef can master with ease, one that is cheap, tasty, and disconcerting to spiders.

I’d like you all to meet Wilbur.

Oink

Pig heads, pig heads, roly-poly pig heads…

This little guy is easy to roast.  Just cover his ears with aluminum foil and stick him in the oven until he gets a better tan than he ever had on the farm.  I’ve seen cooking websites that want to give him a Hawaiian vacation (pineapples, wine, and full-body aluminum foil covering) but I don’t see how that makes the tan any more legitimate.

The skin comes out super-crunchy, more like bacon than mass produced pork rinds… and so do the ears.  The eyeballs explode with flavor but possess an indescribable texture.  A tongue and brains come with the package as well, making Wilbur superior to the average date.  Of course, there’s also some familiar porky goodness to be found, especially in the cheeks; they contain more concentrated flavor.

As you can probably guess, the cholesterol in all that pork skin results in a fair amount of artery clogging, but a little (or a lot) of red wine helps things move along.  So go out and get a head today.  It’s cheap, easy, and good for the soul.

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26 thoughts on “If You Lose Your Head While Cooking, It Insults My Intelligence

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