Anthills Insult My Intelligence

I went out grocery shopping today and rediscovered this lovely architectural specimen:

If you look at the clovers, you can see how big this thing is.

If you look at the clovers, you can see how big this thing is.

Let’s review.  We’ve had rainstorms that should have washed this thing away.  We had the polar vortex that froze the ground and everything on it to a solid block of ice.  One would hope that the grocery store’s landlord was having the lawn mowed, which would have shaved the top off this thing and sent the ants flying off to Oz.  (Or to Dr. Oz at least.  It probably hurts to get sucked up into a lawn mower.)

And yet the anthill remains as large as ever.

Whatever’s in an ant’s armor that keeps it from dying, we need to develop it synthetically and make winter clothing out of it.  Cockroaches may survive a nuclear apocalypse better than humans but the ants will beat us out if there’s another ice age.  This, of course, is why global warming is so critical to our survival as a species.  Keep burning those fossil fuels, people.

9 thoughts on “Anthills Insult My Intelligence

  1. Or you can pour molten aluminum on them and make a piece of art out of their home that’s even larger underground. Or study them at the zoo for the awesome winter clothing idea. Both good ways to spend your time, I think.

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