Thanksgiving Mishaps Insult My Intelligence

It’s time for some Thanksgiving fun (torture?) courtesy of Edna St. Vincent Millay, me, and the liquor cabinet.

Portrait of Edna St. Vincent Millay (1933-01-14)

Portrait of Edna St. Vincent Millay (1933-01-14) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1.

My turkey burns at both ends
We will not eat tonight.
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends,
Chinese sounds good, alright?

2.

My turkey’s frozen at both ends
It will not thaw tonight.
And ah, my foes, and oh, my friends,
It will be hard to bite.

3.

Cranberry sauce is on my hands
It will not wash off right.
And now my bros are not my friends
They used red dye last night…

4.

My bowels are queasy at both ends
They will give off a fright.
So ah, my foes, and oh, my friends,
The toilet’s mine tonight.

5.

This bread is moldy at both ends
A sandwich won’t look right.
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends,
The stuffing will be bright.

6.

The football moves towards both ends
The score is close tonight.
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends,
Unplug the game, I might.

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